Losing

Losing my job has been extremely stressful because I've been able to see my last day looming in the distance. I've been trying and trying to no avail to find another job before this one ends.

Why on earth is this so difficult, you ask? Because my little boy is too young for daycare and my work availability would have to work around that. I can't bartend or work overnights because I've still got to be able to be up and functioning with Charlie in the daytime.

I'm staying positive and trusting there's a purpose for this. I just needed to vent haha "worry is self harassment".

Back in business?

I'm back but completely different haha I'm in a long term relationship, a new mom to a handsome baby boy (follow that journey at ohwowimamomnow.blogspot.com ) and trying to balance work (while I still have one and my hunt for a new one), my new family and returning to school. It doesn't hurt to vent as things change and get harder before they get better. So here we go.

i'm insanely fickle, but you knew that.

alas, i am incredibly fickle, and i am not feelign inspired here anymore, i am moving my personal blog to sharing is caring.

i may be back, i may not, but know the journey together is what's really important.

when there's nothing left to burn, you've got to set yourself on fire.

I've been so crazy swamped that I haven't had a chance to post. Let's update on whats happening now:

I've started dating this guy, Mark, and while it's a new thing, he's great. I haven't been in a relationship in years and frankly wasn't looking or interested in a relationship, but Mark blindsided me-- something he does often, I like it, it keeps me on my toes.

I am taking a semester off to recharge and save up for moving out and on. Wherever my life takes me next I'm going to need to be prepared so that's what this semester off will be for. I've spent enough time in limbo and frankly I'm ready for the rest of the adventure.

I'm working on writing more, I've seriously been slacking and I'm tired of it haha. If I don't push myself I won't accomplish anything, and that doesn't work for me. I'm posting all of my works to this blog

Letter to Puberty.

Dear Puberty,

I'm a h u g e fan of your work in guys; you know, the deep voices, the
increase in testosterone, the muscles-- all of it. But I've noticed lately something you've been neglecting....height. What happened to this "growth spurt" guys get? I find myself being obscenely taller than some guys, and its become bad enough where we need to address it. Please get your shit together and work on my absolute favorite part of your work-- tall guys. Thanks so much, I look forward to your reply.

--T
p.s. I understand this trend of manscaping isn't your idea either, but if you could let guys know that I don't want to sleep with a woman otherwise I would, and it's alright to keep some hair that'd be great.

"Self esteem is esteem of your muthaf*cken self."

Don't let anyone tell you you're not amazing. That you're not an
absolute catch. And especially don't let anyone, especially you, rain on
your parade. Self-esteem is important to every person, but like the first part of it is the truest part-- its your self.

What someone says may make you think you're not as great as you are, but hell it's up to you how much you let petty things that people say affect you.

2010

Dear 2010,

I know that our initial meeting was a bit strained-- I was cursing at the sun through the closed blinds and begging Lady Gaga for a refund on you. But I digress.

I'm writing you to let you know that you will soon be my bitch. Yes, it's true. This year I am going to get my ass in gear, and go H A R D. I'm sure you had plans for me, but I really don't care.

You may have had some romance lined up, but you can save it. I won't have time nor the desire to be courted or wooed. And honestly, I don't have much faith in your taste-- the people you've tried to surround me with so far are not the business. And frankly, 2009 ended on a high note in the guy department and I'd like to let sleeping dogs lie frankly.

Sex is always on the menu as far as I'm concerned but I really don't think I'm going to be having too much of it this year. I know I know, this isn't at all what you were expecting from me, based off what you heard from years past, but this is a new era. Get in line.

My hustle is going to be top shelf this year, so I cannot have you trying to distract, or detour me k? I thought I should write you while we're still getting to know each other and just let you know how this year is going to go down.

Yours truly,
T.

p.s. no. you may not dreg up exes or curveballs.